The Montreal Canadiens (finally) hit the ice after a long break caused by the COVID outbreak on the team, and the restrictions imposed by the province of Quebec on crowds capacities. The NHL being money driven, trying to make up for lost revenues from the past couple of years, does not want to play in empty buildings and they are trying to wait this out, in hope that the Government reopens the gates, so to speak.
But in the meantime, Andrew Zadarnowski had a lighter tweet that made me smile and when things are rather sombre, there’s no better therapy than humour to chase the blues away. So this article is on the lighter side and should 100% be taken in good old fashion humour and not literally.
Considering the success the team has had with the nomination of Chantal in her new role (she is an amazing hire), why stop there? I have taken some inspiration from some of the replies, I’ll admit, but most I’ve come up with. It would be fun to read your suggestions in the comments section as well.
Bogus Habs’ Titles
So without further ado, here are some positions that seems to be custom-made for a few people known by Habs’ fans…
Youppi! : Tony Marinaro
Press Secretary and Media Relationship: John Tortorella
Former Canadiens Information Officer: Stu Cowan
VP of Player Safety: Don Cherry
Co-Secretaries of Propaganda: Brendan Kelly and Réjean Tremblay
Director of Coaching: Norman Flynn
Strategic System Specialist: Philippe Cantin
Useless Information Officer: Andrew Berkshire
Head of Sports Psychology: Mario Tremblay
Meditation and Self-Control Psychiatrist: Patrick Roy
Waterboy: Alexandre Despatie
Power Play Coach: Jordan Weal
Chief Medical Officer: Mark Recchi
Goalie Coach: André “Red Light” Racicot
Director of Player Development: Alexander Galchenyuk (Yes, Alex’ father)
Pharmacists: Andrei and Sergei Kostitsyn
Hair Stylist: Richard Labbé
Director of Graphic Design: Marc-André Perreault
Infectious Disease Information Officer: Brian Wilde
Government Sports Senior Consultants: Justin Trudeau and François Legault
More (serious) reading…
Headshots And Rule Book Application – By Marc-André Breault