Lighter Side: List of Bogus Habs Job Titles

The Montreal Canadiens (finally) hit the ice after a long break caused by the COVID outbreak on the team, and the restrictions imposed by the province of Quebec on crowds capacities. The NHL being money driven, trying to make up for lost revenues from the past couple of years, does not want to play in empty buildings and they are trying to wait this out, in hope that the Government reopens the gates, so to speak.

But in the meantime, Andrew Zadarnowski had a lighter tweet that made me smile and when things are rather sombre, there’s no better therapy than humour to chase the blues away. So this article is on the lighter side and should 100% be taken in good old fashion humour and not literally.

Considering the success the team has had with the nomination of Chantal in her new role (she is an amazing hire), why stop there? I have taken some inspiration from some of the replies, I’ll admit, but most I’ve come up with. It would be fun to read your suggestions in the comments section as well.

Bogus Habs’ Titles

So without further ado, here are some positions that seems to be custom-made for a few people known by Habs’ fans…

Youppi! : Tony Marinaro

Press Secretary and Media Relationship: John Tortorella

Former Canadiens Information Officer: Stu Cowan

VP of Player Safety: Don Cherry

Co-Secretaries of Propaganda: Brendan Kelly and Réjean Tremblay

Director of Coaching: Norman Flynn

Strategic System Specialist: Philippe Cantin

Useless Information Officer: Andrew Berkshire

Head of Sports Psychology: Mario Tremblay

Meditation and Self-Control Psychiatrist: Patrick Roy

Waterboy: Alexandre Despatie

Power Play Coach: Jordan Weal

Chief Medical Officer: Mark Recchi

Goalie Coach: André “Red Light” Racicot

Director of Player Development: Alexander Galchenyuk (Yes, Alex’ father)

Pharmacists: Andrei and Sergei Kostitsyn

Hair Stylist: Richard Labbé

Director of Graphic Design: Marc-André Perreault

Infectious Disease Information Officer: Brian Wilde

Government Sports Senior Consultants: Justin Trudeau and François Legault

More (serious) reading…

Headshots And Rule Book Application – By Marc-André Breault

Chantal Machabée, VP of Communications: Unanimous Decision!

What Is Team Transparency In Hockey Terms?